Monday, December 05, 2005

food for the heads

THE ROOTS
The Tipping Point
[okayplayer/Geffen; 2004]

accusations flew. at the opening re-interpretation of sly and the family stone's everybody is a star with its soul-clap intro, a wannabe in da club, itself a dre produced anthem which, incidentally, the roots reproduced live to open their concerts on the phrenology tour ("the roots is taking over"). at the lazy wannabe r&b of i don't care which, despite this, still managed to ride one of the smoothest, most fluid bass lines of the year. at the club jam/banger don't say nuthin' which led them to claim scott storch was too ambitious with the philadelphian's infamous jam/demo sessions and had been spending too much time with beyonce. and that's just the first three tracks. but as ?uestlove assured us in his ever-cryptic, stream of consciousness liner notes, once a root always a root. adorning the cover, a portrait of a small time hustler known as detroit red on the streets of boston in the 1940s, later better-known as malcolm x. the album title borrowed from malcolm gladwell's pop sociological work the tipping point, referring to the underground going overground, penetrating the mainstream, a seemingly incremental change in fact consituting revolution - something once considered unique becoming common. and sure, to an extent the roots went commercial on this one but the results are still more interesting than radiohead going experimental. by the time somebody's gotta do it rolls around, with devin the dude adding a sweet chorus and jean grae dropping one of her patented cameo verses, and the soulful closer why (what's goin on?) almost brings an end to proceedings, you can rest assured you have been rocking with the best, the lengendary foundation crew

Sunday, December 04, 2005

that makes 83 (i'm counting)

The Magnetic Fields
i
[NONESUCH; 2004]

the prolific and one time bedroom synth-pop composer stephen merrit returned in his most recognisable and revered guise this year with i; an album whose sequencing is arranged alphabetically and on which all the songs begin with the ninth letter of the alphabet. this novelty - the "concept" (an attribute which is more strictly adhered to on other maggies releases) - merely masks the fact that merrit has written a further 14 love songs to append his 1999 opus, on which his original intent was to compose a century's worth. apart from the pounding disco-downbeat of i thought you were my boyfriend, there is little that hints at merrit's lo-fi beginnings. instead, in its place, we find examples of his droll humour amongst delicate chamber-pop arrangements, expertly produced and ending with his most ambitious work yet, it's only time. when touring 69 love songs and playing a mini-residency at the sadly departed and sorely missed continental cafe just days before it closed, he pointed out that his was not the sole release comprising entirely love songs that year and cited melbourne's own nick cave as an example with his boatman's call record. and i can't help but feel this reluctant tourist was inspired, even competitive, in writing his album's closer - the most stark, eloquent, honest and charming paean to the timeless nature of love he has given voice to and, dare i say it, exceeding anything on his previous effort. i look forward to the next 17...

Saturday, December 03, 2005

the smart americans

JUNIOR BOYS
LAST EXIT
[KIN/Domino; 2004]


so, your favourite website (pitchforkmedia.com) reviews a new cd by an unheralded canadian duo on june 16 (8.9 out of 10). the same day you receive your weekly othermusic (NYC) email update. it sounds to you, having not heard it, like the magnetic fields meets the postal service. so the quest begins. along the way you acquire a new vocabulary - it's emo-electronica, indie romanticism meets neptunes/timbaland beats. you even try borders, because it sounds, like, "literate". no luck. you wait. then on september 22 your inbox contains a further othermusic update declaring domino records have released last exit domestically to the US market. not only that but it contains a bonus disc featuring caribou (nee manitoba) and fennesz remixes. you finally purchase your very own copy on october 28. was it worth it? electro-dreampop album of the year

Friday, December 02, 2005

geek rock

CASIOTONE FOR THE PAINFULLY ALONE
TINKLE ECHO
[Tomlab; 2004]


mike nichols (director of the graduate) to robert redford upon his audition for the role that eventually went to dustin hoffman, "have you ever struck out with a girl?" to which redford replied, "what do you mean?" hello rufus wainwright, elliott smith, ed harcourt - the girls all love you cos your sensitive and fragile and deep (and pretty) but geeks can write songs too. enter owen ashworth with the best stage moniker of the year and an album composed entirely on casio keyboards. this fictional autobiography is heartbreaking in its naivety, simplicity, honesty and innocence. kate langbroek to mark E smith (from the eels) on the panel, "were you picked on at school?" his deadpan reply, "no, I was a jock."

Thursday, December 01, 2005

and now from the home office...

when I commenced this enterprise, it was mainly with the intent of opining wildly and wilfully on the merits of the music i love. you see music is my thing, i just haven't managed to parlay it into a livelihood (yet). admittedly at that early point i did concede that i had things to say and the world either needed to be unaware i was saying them or choose to ignore them. my prescience has been proven unnervingly and unfortunately accurate. nonetheless, unperturbed and completely unmoved by the necessity to be contemporaneous, i present to you my top 10 albums of 2004. not having a blog last year i was unable to afflict the results of my agonising list-making upon the ignorant masses and as this blog proves ignorance is bliss. today is the first day of the advent calendar, and this list shall be succeeded by my top 10 for 2005 (i know, quelle horreur, shockingly approaching relevance there) as well as assorted editorialising along the way. so if you know a holier-than-thou indie, hispster kid (read obsessive music geek), i suggest any of the following as christmas gifts...

Jason Forrest
The Unrelenting Songs of the 1979 Post Disco Crash
[Sonig; 2004]

one time disco queen donna summer whose previous album had been issued by the kid606 affiliated violent turd reappeared this year under a name more recognisable to his mother and released a mash-up? certainly, those who encountered it would have no hesitation in labelling it as art but this goes no way toward its understanding. the least listenable entry on this list, wfmu dj jason forrest has created a dissonant piece ap(h)exing with 10 amazing years, an epic 6 minute wig-out appropriating in its course both the who and the beatles. These sounds often threaten to bump in a big-beat breakdown, but veer away from potential party-pleasers to become the perfect gift for your friends who think radiohead is fucked-up. they're not. this is

Sunday, October 30, 2005

20 things that noone wanted to know about me

1. i was not tagged for this meme.

2. i do not know what meme means.

3. i am currently contemplating whether all 20 items on this list should revolve around the obvious issues i have with meme.

4. for instance i do not know how to say meme.

5. noone reads this blog, so i am confident in the knowledge that my meme fixation will go unnoticed.

6. if i stop this list now, will it be a minimeme?

7. i just visited
dictionary.com and this is the result:
meme
n : a cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one generation to another by nongenetic means (as by imitation); "memes are the cultrual counterpart of genes"

8. i pretty sure they misspelt cultural

9. i'm not sure how i feel about an online dictionary doing this

10. particularly one that is of so little help.

11. oh, well at least its allowed me to fill out this list a little.

12. maybe i need one of
these.

13. someone at work the other day asked me the difference between a $10 pair of headphones and a $70 pair; i said "$60".

14. i went into a cafe for lunch and asked if they did takeaway, they said they did but it would be an half hour wait.

15. i asked if it would be quicker if i sat at a table

16. why the fuck would i wait half an hour for takeaway?

17. and will somebody tell me what the fuck meme means?
18. ouch!

19. gertrude stein just puched me in the mouth

20. i am currently in love...

that is all. if you are reading this, perhaps you need one of
these or perhaps google brought you here, if so please leave your search term as a comment (the comment box is everso empty)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

rock hard times

herein shortly shall contain my humble thoughts on the performance delivered by the eels with strings on friday 21 october 2005 in the austere surrounds of hamer hall. accompanied by e-freaks noddy and juztine, it was an ambitious if somewhat lacking affair which was largely unaffecting apart from the magnificent climbing up to the moon, things the grandchildren should know and the triumphant mr. e's beautiful blues. WORK IN PROGRESS

Sunday, October 16, 2005

the proposition

recently, at the venerable balwyn palace cinema i chose to endure the gut-wrenching, gruelling and torturous ordeal that emerged from the mind of one nick cave (he of the boys next door, birthday party and bad seeds). his script for the proposition, helmed by john hillcoat as director (long-time music video collaborator who also directed cave in an acting role some 20 years ago in prison drama ghosts of the civil dead), was typically lyric and poetic. nonetheless, throughout one could not help shake the feeling that the film was not going to end well. and in my opinion, it only truly reached the status of an australian western in its final spoken words when the helplessness and despair of the outlaw's plight is laid bare. it is an unrelentingly taught film, featuring not just punctuated by graphic violence, and i hope to shortly use this space to further elaborate on my reaction to a disturbing, provocative piece of undeniable art. WORK IN PROGRESS

Saturday, October 08, 2005

you decide

last night i witnessed an enccore performance by "lovable dorks" lawrence leung and andrew (andy) mclelland of their somewhat secret society show @ the lithuanian club main theatre (Hello LITHUANIA!!!) as part of the melbourne fringe festival. this space will shortly contain my thoughts on said event, rapturously recieved by an adoring audience, significant only because both performers are old school alumni of mine. WORK IN PROGRESS

Monday, September 26, 2005

the lion king is shit

forthwith, herein shall reside my thoughts on the altogether disappointing stage production of the disney film currently playing at the refurbished regent theatre in melbourne-town. as you may summise, i was not impressed. WORK IN PROGRESS

Friday, September 16, 2005

you got me

we knew each other once this can't be what you want but you didn't have to demolish me i don't remember losing sight of your needs...if you took to me like a gull takes to the wind well i'd have jumped from my trees and i'd dance like the king of the eyesores and the rest of our lives would've fared well...friends who don't have a clue well meaning teachers but down in your arms in your arms i am a wild creature i write down good reasons to freeze to death in my spiral ring notebook but in the long tresses of your hair i am a babbling brook...i am going to make it through this year if it kills me...now you see me now you don't now you say you love me pretty soon you won't if we get our full three score and ten we won't pass this way again so kiss me with your mouth open turn your tires towards the street and stay sweet i know you if we live to see the other side of this i will remember your kiss so do it with your mouth open and take your foot off of the brake for christ's sake...you've got to stop fucking her up you've got to grow up you've got to stop making her cry she thinks you want to and you know she's right you're showing a side that you don't like you've got to say sorry then not undo it you've got to let go if not in your heart then in what you show and in what you start it cannot be and you've got to accept it stop being so weak stop being so selfish you can want all you like still you won't be getting no matter how fierce the feelings may be you've got to keep your feelings under lock and key...the most remarkable thing about coming home to you is the feeling of being in motion again it's the most extraordinary thing in the world...and if it comes down to me and him you know i kiss you better...down there in the dark i could see the real truth about me as clear as day lord if i make it through tonight i will mend my ways and walk the straight path to the end of my days saint joseph's baby aspirin bartles and james and you or your memory...to a decision she's come she has decided to leave if someone were to ask me i'd say its remarkable that she had stayed this long...we knew from the start when things fall apart they tend to shatter but sometimes relationships get ill no doubt...she told me she loved me like fireworks...and i love noboby alone in this world that's how i came in it i don't even love life no more my niggers i just live it and i don't love love all the hurting is infinite life is still shit got a full heart but i dont feel with it no more it's like losing the love of your life twice in the same night being deaf for years gained your hearing and losing your sight trying to shine but i'm just getting eclipsed i'm just trying to find the perfect words to fall from my lips hoping the next time its storming that i'm not attempting to slit wrists getting older wiser seeing the picture painted my destiny fated for this and not for easy times i put my hearts in these rhymes for always love it or leave it...i never get tired of this song i've got a new life you would hardly recognise me i'm so glad how could a person like me care for you? why should i bother when you're not the one for me? how could a person like you bring me joy? and noone's going to drag you up into the light where you belong...little by little you're gonna hear me cry why? yeah we started from there and you were very loud yes you were very loud but I really like that very loud like that yeah you were very loud...as the low pressure system brings the breezes in and they sashay and pirouette above you the only thing i really know is that i love you and i'm holding on...in this dark room in this bed when you hold me feels so secure right now i feel nothing i couldn't feel safer i always feel this way that no harm can come to me when i'm in your company...you're so clever but not very nice so fuck forever if you don't mind i'm stuck forever stuck in your mind...this is it isn't it? this is the end for you and i the end of the affair...but mercy's eyes are blue when she places them in front of you nothing holds a roman candle to the solemn warmth you feel inside there's no measuring love nothing else is love

Monday, September 12, 2005

as you do

in this space shall shortly reside my glowing praise for john darnielle and peter hughes and the performance they put on at the northcote social club last night as THE MOUNTAIN GOATS ably supported by SCOUT NIBLETT. despite the fact they did not play fan-favourite going to georgia, in just over one hour on stage they managed to reduce me to the point of tears on several occasions. WORK IN PROGRESS

Saturday, September 10, 2005

iPod magic 8-ball

What do you think of me, iPod?
o.k. - ANI DiFRANCO revelling (i see you have as high an opinion of me as i have of myself)

Will I have a happy life?

The noise of carpet (US single) - stereolab oscillons from the anti-sun

What do my friends really think of me?

B.O.B. & Roses/Take You Home - Outkast/FABOLOUS mash-up by Mark Ronson it's the motherfucking remix

Do people secretly lust after me?

mainstream307 - non prophets hope

How can I make myself happy?
track no52 - DJ kid capri 52 classic breakbeats

What should I do with my life?
1992 - Blur 13

Why must life be so full of pain?

I'm So Free - Lou Reed Transformer

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?

Make with The Traps - Track Star Ten Years of NOISE POP

Will I die happy?

stranded with buck 65 - DJ Signify sleep no more

Can you give me some advice?

Negasonic Teenage Warhead - Monster Magnet

What do you think happiness is?

TWO STATES Pavement Slanted and Enchanted: Luxe and Reduxe

What’s my favorite fetish?

Rock of Gibraltar - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds Nocturama

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

there's something about johnny

shortly my review of CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY, tim burton's remake of the 1970s gene wilder starring adaptation of roald dahl's novel, shall appear in this space. WORK IN PROGRESS

Sunday, September 04, 2005

yo shorty its yo birthday

the TAXI dining room at the TRANSPORT HOTEL @fedsquare was recently voted restaurant of the year by the five critics who compile the age good food guide awards. it was also the scene for the celebration of the 26th anniversary of my birth last night. two such honours do not come lightly. opinion forthcoming. WORK IN PROGRESS

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

11 secret herbs and spices

herein shall shortly reside my humble opinions concerning KUNG FU HUSTLE which i had the pleasure of attending at hoyts highpoint last night. WORK IN PROGRESS

Saturday, August 27, 2005

ouch

forthcoming i shall duly opine on the merits or lack thereof of the latest michael bay blockbuster the island which i had the misfortune of parting with my money to view at hoyts chadstone last night. WORK IN PROGRESS

Thursday, August 25, 2005

karl marx played on the left, ayn rand played on the right

The Political Compass

Economic Left/Right: -4.50
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -6.26


here it is, kids - as promised - and that's right, your eyes do not deceive you. comfortably nestled between the dalai lama and nelson mandela there sit i (malcolm x, this one NOT *that* one). now, go play.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

the machine says its in

forthcoming here shall reside a review of the TEENAGE FANCLUB gig i attended at the hi-fi bar on friday august 19. WORK IN PROGRESS

Monday, August 15, 2005

an oasis in a desert of bogans

forthcoming herein will contain a review of the ARCHITECTURE IN HELSKINKI, CLUE TO KALO and CHARLES BABY gig i witnessed at ruby's bar and lounge in belgrave on saturday august 13. WORK IN PROGRESS

Saturday, August 13, 2005

was she like that before she met him?

forthcoming in this space will contain details of a friday evening (august 12) spent in the company of goths (inter alia). WORK IN PROGRESS

Thursday, August 11, 2005

so much respect

forthcoming in this space will contain a review of THE ROOTS gig i attended at the metro on friday august 5. WORK IN PROGRESS

Friday, August 05, 2005

freestyles 4 days

forthcoming in this space will contain a review of a RESIN DOGS gig i attended at the prince of wales on thursday august 4. WORK IN PROGRESS

Sunday, July 31, 2005

there is no tone

the hoff. bec cartwright.

"We've raised the bar so high there is no bar."
(Joel Silver, producer of The Matrix trilogy on his then forthcoming sequels)

Friday, July 29, 2005

Bec, please. Marry ME!!!


It started that night you called me up,
to see if I'd play in the Starlight Cup
Way back then, little did we know,
That our love for one another could grow and grow,
A text message or two is what kept us in touch
And I want you to know that I love you so much
It wasn't'til late in 2004
That I received another phone call
When we decided to meet,
we went up the street for something to eat,
From that day on I've been by your side
And look at me now,
I am here as your bride!
I used to wish upon a star
that I'd meet the perfect husband
- and here you are!
You're an inspiration to so many including me,
Anyone whose ever met you can count themselves lucky,
I'm so lucky I've found the one,
Being with you I have nothing but fun,
You are my best friend and my dream come true
And I'm so glad to be sharing all this with you
This is only the start of our dream together,
But I promise to love you until forever
I can't wait to start my life with you,
Just being together, our dreams will come true
I have no doubt I'm glad to be your wife,
And being with me is now a part of your life
I admire you for so many reasons,
I mean look at what happened at the Four Seasons!
We're about to experience the miracle of life,
but always remember I'm so proud to be your wife,
Having a family with you makes me so glad,
I know I'll never get sad,
Thanks so much for choosing me,
By sticking together we'll make a great family
Engaged and then married and now one on the way,
I'll take such good care of you every day,
It's safe to say I'll love you more and more
And marrying you today, I couldn't be more sure.
Rebecca Hewitt! I'm your wife!
I promise you one thing, stick with me and you'll have a bloody good life!"

Thursday, July 28, 2005

getting to know me

1. What time is it? well blogger says its 10.33pm so let's go with that (my watch says 10.40pm so i really i don't know what i've accomplished in the last 7 minutes)
2. Name as it appears on birth certificate: El-Hajj Malik al-Shabazz
3. Nicknames: malc (family only), malcky (house-sat a place in alphington with my best friend lucas a few years back; we were perfect strangers, cousin lukey and cousin malcky). also tried to get thommohawk happening in grade 6 since my teacher called me "thommo"
4. Peircing: this word, spelt as it is, does not exist. this leads me to conclude that whomever composed this survey is a fucking moron. however i am completing this survey so i don't know what that says about me.
5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theater? my summer of love
6. Eye color: blue
7. Place of birth: recently discovered it was ballarat
8. Favorite foods: pistacchio souffle at radii (before the chef paul wilson moved to the botanical), oyster shooters at ezard at adelphi, peking duck at the flower drum, the journey at reserve (before it closed)
9.Ever been to Africa? no. is it like toto's africa?
10. Ever been toilet papering? no. i think the americans call it tee-peeing. it was featured in the smashing pumpkins 1979 video clip and pop-up video informs me that toilet-papering is the second most popular prank on halloween. the first being...smashing pumpkins.
11. Ever love someone so much it made you cry? despite the drugs, yes
12.Ever been in a car accident? no. i drive like a nanna
13. Croutons or bacon? one is stale bread fried in fat, the other is fat fried in fat. and they're both in a caesar salad
14. Favorite day of the week: the day when you knock on my door
15: Favorite restaurant: the last one i went to that i chose (reserve) or the next one (probably taxi @ transport at fed square)
16. Favorite flower: corn
17. Favorite sport to watch: competitive eating OR synchronised swimming (if only some genius could combine the two)
18. Favorite drink: lemon lime and oestrogen (maybe i'm not getting enough oestrogen)
19. Favorite ice cream: mango which is the true passionfruit being as it is a far more passionate fruit than passionfruit itself
20. Disney or Warner Brothers? can't name any of the brothers (can't name either of the bros either), so i'll go with walt
21. Favorite fast food restaurant: KFC because they're not buying into this healthy option/lifestyle crap
22. What color is your bedroom carpet? stained. carpet colour?
23. How many times did you fail your driver's test? nonce (and i'm a maths student)
24. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? last non-mailing list email was from a monkey called nick (smart monkey)
25. Which store would you max out your credit card at? Does Pick-A-Part accept credit cards? Is Lube Mobile a store?
26. What do you do most often when you are bored? sleep
27. Bedtime: curfew
28. Favorite TV shows: six feet under, west wing, millenium, scrubs, freaks and geeks, simpsons, the daily show, the larry sanders show, yes minister
29. Last person you went out to dinner with? the family for dad's birthday
30. Ford or Chevy? harrrison ford was han solo and indiana jones. chevy chase lent his voice to the karate dog (i haven't heard of it either). QED
31. What are you listening to right now? the smashing pumpkins, disarm (live on English TV 1993 from the earphoria soundtrack to vieuphoria which was reissued subsequent to the dissolution of the pumpkins). i was feeling nostalgic
32. What is your favorite color? haven't devoted any brain power to thinking about it
33. Lake, Ocean, or river? yes
34. How many tattoos do you have? none, i am a nanna
35. Time you finished this survey: 11.09
36. Which came first the chicken or the egg? the glass is half full, alright. because it is impossible to make a glass that already contains liquid, so the empty newly-created glass must be filled at some point.
37. How many people are you sending this email to? none. its not an email anymore. and i will be directing anyone curious as to my answers to this url.
38. the question you should beasking yourself is, ......WHY?

further instructions provided by the author of this survey Enjoy orDIE!
well, we're all going to die. curiouser and curiouser

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

enlightenment. get some

"Thank God, in these days of enlightenment and establishment, everyone has a right to his own opinions, and chiefly to the opinion that nobody else has a right to theirs."
Ronald Knox 1888-1957: Reunion All Round (1914)


source the Little Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (second edition)
because size does matter

Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light


But not you David. Baby.

I think the presence of the Hoff noticeably upped the tone of this intellectual mecca

there goes the neighbourhood

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

coldplay, the scientist

well, it was a nice blog we had. once. a quick critique from a bad boy 4 life: generally cryptic post, opened with a pun, admirable pop culture referencing (lost in translation & the postal service), some other stuff not even i understand despite my supposed insight, cutesie attempt at retaining anonymity of third parties, curious capitalisation of stony and YOU PUT THE FUCKING HOFF ON MY BLOG. is nothing sacred?

what bill whispered to scarlett

so the terra was firma but in the end we retreated.
Would Clark Gable have admired our style? I don't know - check in the mail.
Never heed the advice of strangers, unless they're scientists.
M was ON. K was spilling.
We sat in the car in STONY silence.

My friend met the Hoff in New York on Thursday. Apparently he's tall and still Baywatch permatanned.

I can't think what else to write....I challenge you to bounce off this!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

mixtape adventure volume 2

*why don't you tell me a story?
-please tell me a story too
"you know, i think i'll tell you the story of my life"
*you tell me

-i wanna hear too

"i was born in anamoose, north dakota, a long time ago, see.
and now i'm lucky enough to be here with you.
*yeah but what happened in between?
-yeah what else happened?
"well...it went pretty much like this"
[variously sampled by grandmaster flash, dj shadow & david holmes inter alia]
and then some stuff happened which may or may not have involved visiting our nation's capital, vanquishing all-comers at quiz versus once more, and seeing sin city and my summer of love (both highly recommended, particularly the former)...
it was nick hornby who wrote in his oft-referenced high fidelity that making a mixtape for someone is like writing a love letter with other people's poetry. as the obsessive/compulsive mixtape maker knows, self imposed and frequently thematic rather than pragmatic limitations often affect the outcome of the final product. and as ben lee knew when he was 13, "every boy in the world writes a song for every girl for every girl in the world" so, it was quite refreshing for me to compose the following tracklist based entirely on the available mp3s on my computer, all of which have been downloaded and none of which are represented in my cd collection:
01 simple minds don't you forget about me
02 the streets could well be in
03 soul coughing screenwriter's blues
04 dntel (this is) the dream of evan and chan featuring ben gibbard (death cab for cutie)
05 gary jules mad world (tear for fears cover)
06 belle & sebastian don't leave the light on baby
07 belle & sebastian i don't love anyone
08 wheatus a little respect (cover)
09 julianna hatfield spin the bottle
10 the concretes you can't hurry love
11 the church the unguarded moment
12 the whitlams tangled up in blue (bob dylan cover)
13 ratcat that ain't bad
14 the black keys 10 a.m. automatic
15 the black keys she said, she said (beatles cover)
16 beatles in my life
17 grant lee phillips humankind
18 ride vapour trail
19 the yeah yeah yeahs maps
20 the verve bittersweet symphony (UNKLE remix)

Sunday, June 26, 2005

duck, you suckers

"THE REVOLUTION
IS NOT A SOCIAL DINNER,
A LITERARY EVENT,
A DRAWING OR AN EMBROIDERY;
IT CANNOT BE DONE WITH ...
ELEGANCE AND COURTESY.
THE REVOLUTION IS AN ACT OF VIOLENCE ..."
MAO TSE-TUNG
so, i attended the first showing on the first day of an 11 day season of screenings of sergio leone's overlooked and under-rated 1971 film a fistful of dynamite (it's called a motif, stupid) today at the astor thatre in chapel street, st kilda. it was a morally ambiguous affair, contemplatively examining the process of revolution from both personal and political perspectives. indeed, the protagonist juan has no motive at the start of the film beyond his loyalty to his family (whom he describes as his country) yet slowly is exposed to and develops a political agenda. he develops an unlikely bond with a former IRA terrorist and explosives expert sean (played by james coburn) who is similarly morally dubious/questionable in his motivations but ideaologically seems to be a revolutionary. violence begets itself throughout and many questions are raised; chief among them being what one does for the "cause" and what one does for oneself. all the hallmarks of leone's directorial style are evident and indeed the film is beautifully and poetically shot. as my companion and i noted, they don't make thoughtful and thought-provoking films like this any more, coloured, as it was, in shades of grey. wherein juan left with no home, family, country or cause stares at the camera and asks, "what about me?" consoled not at all by the prospect of being regarded as a "grand, great, glorious hero of the revolution" a realisation made perhaps too late by his companion.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

master dynamite-e, esquire

imaginative pseudonym: so did you like sideways?
me: no. not really.
imaginative pseudonym: so why didn't you just say that on your blog?

so, i liked napoleon dynamite. at first, i feared it would be one of those films "lost" on dvd, in the sense that its quirk and eccentricities would not be as captivating or enchanting as they would have been had i taken myself along to the cinema when it was showing. and, at first, my fears appeared as though they would be realised. the performances seemed forced, affected and self-conscious. yet despite this, by its final reel, this so-called "outsider comedy" and its tale of defiant (and triumphant) individualism had won me over. Complemented by a great soundtrack (my pick of which is alphaville's forever young which, coincidentally, happens to be on the karaoke menu at charlton's - don't ask me how i know that, or what i was doing last saturday night) this is a charming and endearing film. and yes, it got me.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

mixtape adventure volume 1

I'm always making mixtapes but i never give them to the person for whom they are intended. so, a few weeks ago i was composing a mixtape (on CD) with the working title totallyfuckedupshit which was purely an intellectual exercise. around the same time a friend text messaged me in what can only be described as an evidently good mood. i replied: "what's with the pep, chipper?" which she subsequently attributed to her newfound liberation (nelly furtado may have been quoted). as karmic cosmic coincidences would have it, one mariah carey released an album entitled the emancipation of mimi within close proximity to these events; totallyfuckedupshit becoming something for mimi. the tracklisting is as follows (current circulation 2);

01 ben lee whatever it is
02 the nextmen mash-up AC/DC's back in black with missy elliot's get your freak on
03 the muffs outer space
04 the kinks the village green preservation society
05 david cross certain leaders in government look or act like certain pop culture references!
06 sodastream a drum (live)
07 the fiery furnaces don't dance her down
08 the dresden dolls girl anachronism
09 simon and garfunkel the 59th bridge street song (feelin' groovy)
10 smokey robinson and the miracles the tracks of my tears
11 the magnetic fields you and me and the moon
12 beck e-pro
13 jason forrest 10 amazing years
14 the roots feat. erykah badu you got me (live on letterman)
15 dj z-trip mashes-up the who's teenage wasteland
16 the field mice landmark
17 aimee mann longshot (Live at st. ann's warehouse)

finally, a fictitious conversation i have only had in my head:

girl: so, did you make a mixtape for me?
me: of course i did. i am, in the truest and worst sense of the word, a romantic.

Friday, June 17, 2005

top 5 basslines (ever)

had an interesting, high fidelity-esque conversation over the recent long-weekend motivated by the fact a friend has recently taken up the bass guitar. the criteria were never really defined but nevertheless the following shortlist was devised:

Cannonball- The Breeders
Another One Bites the Dust- Queen
Day Tripper- The Beatles
Come Together- The Beatles
Walk On The Wild Side- Lou Reed
Blister in the Sun- Violent Femmes
Come As You Are- Nirvana
Longview- Greenday
Killing In The Name- Rage Against The Machine
Beautiful People- Marilyn Manson
My Girl- Otis Redding
Express Yourself- Chrales Wright & The Watts 103rd Rhythm Band
Fool’s Gold- Stone Roses
Bug Powder Dust- Bomb the Bass
Hello, I Love You- The Doors
Root Down- Beastie Boys
Rapper’s Delight- Sugarhill Gang
The Message- Grandmaster Flash
Gigantic- The Pixies
Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver- Primus
Suck My Kiss- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Walkabout- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Beercan- Beck
Feel Good Inc.- Gorillaz


The following were disqualified (reasons for exclusion given in brackets):

Seven Nation Army- The White Stripes (processed guitar effect; possible
requalification, in the bass register)
You Can Call Me Al- Paul Simon (bass fill)
Addicted to Bass- Josh Abrahams (not live)
Smoke on the Water- Deep Purple (guitar riff)
Superstition- Stevie Wonder (guitar line)
Where It's At- Beck (moog)


And finally some advice from my lawyer:

(e) Unrelated news. "Bust a Move" (by Young MC - ed.). Very cool bass line. Apparently this was Flea or some shit. I don't know. It might be true. It might also be crap from crapsuckers.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

people i look like


Clockwise from top left: Alexander Downer (federal member for the South Australian seat of Mayo, foreign minister in the Howard Liberal government), Guy Sebastian (winner, season one of Australian Idol), Jack Osbourne (Ozzy's son), David Anthony Higgins (Craig Feldspar from Malcolm in the Middle), Rainn Wilson (Arthur from Six Feet Under) & Marc Fennell (SBS Movie Show)

suffice to say, i have very high self-esteem

Saturday, June 11, 2005

things i have said about this blog recently

to ari, webmaster general (check him out on the web here: "i won't inflcit the address upon you, suffice to say at this early stage it sucks and probably won't improve" to jane, CO-contributor (yet to have posted): "just look at the earnest wankiness that i write, and know that you can exceed it" to dr nick, sole comment poster: "what was the name of that band we saw last night? I'll publish it on my blog so that my readership of none can bolster numbers at their gig next week"
and finally a conversation with london;
me: i'm doing dancing classes. i started a blog. i'm doing a lot of uncharacteristic things
the velvet wiggle: really?
me: well, no. not really.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

it's been one week...

ten days, in fact, since i last posted to this blog. i intend to resist the temptation to catalogue the events that have transpired in my so-called life in the intervening period under subheadings in what can only be described as the anal fashion i did so in my last post. these events included, but were not limited to, le bop swing dancing class @ the space (on chapel but off chapel but on chapel), more tennis workouts @ melbourne park, more funk last tuesday (as well as more tequilla shots and a particularly potent frangelico cake that resembled tira misu), a convincing loss in competition tennis, a 500g new york cut of eye fillet cooked medium rare @ charcoal grill on the hill in kew, a new pair of sunglasses (broke the armani's replaced with the far more affordable bolle - fear not, my frames are the only fashionable aspect of my persona), and a successful attempt at cooking my specialty dish - orange souffles for the family. which, while revealing nothing of a personal nature, politely brings us to yesterday. those of you who wish to read between the lines, where, as a friend pointed out, all the interesting stuff happens, will have to ask jane (further evidence of her existence shall be forthcoming, once i master more of this online abode).
suffice to say, amid generally interrupted sleeping patterns, it occurred to me that i wanted to make brownies. thankfully found a recipe in stephanie alexander's cooks companion (home to my bolognese, mango salsa and lemon delicious pudding recipes - all successes) which required 200g of dark bittersweet chocolate. i sourced this from a coffee and chocolate shop in whitehorse road, balwyn that i patronise once a year when making my tira misu for christmas (from a recipe in bill marchetti's Latin cookbook) at a cost of 8 dollars which a friend later pointed out was half liberia's deficit. to which i replied "do liberia make chocolate? maybe they should get in the game." in fact, the shop attendant who remembered me from my previous cooking adventures (the tira misu also requires double strong espresso coffee and she had quite kindly and patiently explained to me the difference between a dripilator and a perculator once), was suprised i was using such good chocolate for brownies. i told her i thought all chocolate was good which she sternly advised me is apparently not the case. the brownie endeavour, however, did not turn out as successfully as the souffles. undeterred, in intend to consume the remnants and try again. despite all of this unnecessary detail, tuesday was not wholly occupied by baking.
the usual suspects went along to a bar in northcote called terra firma last night for a trivia night called quiz versus. the incentive being that dr nick, who was kind enough to add a comment to a previous post, and i had attended said venue one month ago and won ourselves a $50 drink card for our efforts, the theme of the quiz on that occasion being booze. accordingly, the two of us had chosen our team name to be cliff and norm (in honour of the barflies from cheers, one of whom later went on to voice mr potato head in the toy story movies). the theme last night, when nick and i were fortunate enough to have attracted company (something about the promise of free alcohol), was scandal and so we named ourselves "the bennifers". the result? we came second (we're considerate lovers) losing out by half a point to the divine browns. our reward? a copy of pam and tommy lee's home video on dvd. if anyone wishes to challenge our ascendency, and stand between us and porn, we'll be back in two weeks on june 14 when the theme will be the sixties. see you there, punks!

Sunday, May 22, 2005

my week in pictures (or 5,000 words)

so, it has been some five days since i last posted to this blog; i figure a picture per day and you can do the maths (the absence of actual pictures may be a clue). i was claiming chivalry as the reason for my absence from this medium, allowing my CO-contributor jane, amid whose exhortations and general delusions of grandeur i commenced this enterprise, to make her first post (she really does exist). but fearing our baby would wither and die without love or at least constant nurturing, i a forced to ask myself - what have i been up to? i'm glad you asked...

TUESDAY
caught a ten-piece funk outfit perform at barbukka, smith street. signs malcolm may be more drunk than he thinks he is; when discussing partying the night away, repeatedly asking a friend whom he had established at a previous, alcohol-free encounter was from cyprus, whether she did so on the island of crete in her youth. proceeded by the question, "are people from crete called cretans?"

WEDNESDAY
dinner at shakahari, farraday street, carlton to celebrate a friend's birthday. followed by dessert at brunetti across the road, drinking at birra bella which is NOT just around the corner and which another friend and i decided was italian for "beer bitch". shenanigans, misdeeds and further imbibing subsequently took place at a share house in north melbourne.

THURSDAY
day of rest

FRIDAY
received last minute invitation to frolic in the dandenong ranges and take in tea at miss marple's tea house in sassafras. accompanied by anna and catriona who demanded that their anonymity not be respected. probably will be refused entry to that quaint establishment if i ever intend to visit again (altogether due to the tenor of our conversation).
the evening's entertainment was provided by a university club's social function @ strike bowling in the QV centre. it was also nominally a traffic light party although the degree to which this was adhered to was marginal. i wore green cord trousers, and an orange puma long-sleeve tee under a red shirt; i'm versatile! bowled a respectable 122 finishing spare, strike, spare.

SATURDAY & SUNDAY
uneventful weekend of domestic bliss punctuated by an outing to brunswick street for coffee on sunday afternoon.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

sideways & pretensions of criticism

i took myself along to see sideways last night. or, more precisely, was invited to do so by a fellow cinematic recalcitrant some four months after its theatrical release in australia. it had been variously described to me as uncannily pertinent, hysterical (a pisser, in fact; thanks jane, she is everso eloquent) and the most overrated film of the year (an opinion i suspected appropriated from jim schembri, later confirmed). i also had a vague recollection of a short piece in the age citing a new york times’ film critic’s claim that it would have made a more worthy winner at the academy awards than million dollar baby.*
the most I can say for it was that it was pleasant, agreeable and unextraordinary. the protagonist, miles (paul giamati) lives a life of quiet desperation - living, as he says, from bottle to bottle - from which he never resiles and, like in his 700 page unpublished novel, no definitive resolution is offered by this film. this left my companion wanting more but I don’t know of how much more this film was capable. no genuine pathos was engendered for the characters, one of whom (sandra oh’s stephanie) was introduced and discarded as little more than a plot device. although the film attempted to imbue itself with meaning containing several verbose exchanges concerning the nature of wine as analogies for the characters’ lives, poignancy was foregone and the story played itself out seemingly for nothing more than laughs. it was nice but empty, breezy but lightweight (is this what is meant by a european sensibility?). if anything the impression one left with was of a little film, with no over-reaching ambition, that achieved what it set out to accomplish. and in that sense, it was well made. but it didn’t get me.

* subsequent to drafting this post, i tracked down the age article which referred to said critic’s (caryn james) piece as a "blistering" indictment of the institution of the academy awards under the headline swipe at the oscars. it can be found in the metro section in paul kalina’s short cuts column on the 10th march, 2005 and is available at the age website at cost. according to kalina, james was unimpressed with both the ceremony and outcome, railing against the devaluation of the awards and lamenting that sideways (the most "innovative" film of the year) was overlooked. the original source for this piece, which was published on march 1st, 2005, can be found here [NB: you may need to register as a NYTimes.com member to access the full text] and i thought it to be far more sanguine, measured and level-headed than readers of the age were led to believe.