chilli oatmeal

bore witness to the glorious, hmynal noise of the new pornographers last night at the venerable and salubrious st kilda venue, the prince of wales hotel. the oxymoronic indie-supergroup minus destroyer/swan lake's dan bejar were supported by the chiming indie-pop of local act the crayon fields, whose appearance motivated one of my fellow gig-goers to state that she was prepared to bet large sums none of the four-piece line-up got laid in high-school. further furnishing my theory that indie-girls are way hotter than their undeserving indie male counterparts. the headliners came on strong opening with sing me spanish techno, the laws have changed, jackie dressed in cobras, and the bleeding heart show on which they achieved transcendental joy. what followed was a sublime display of crunchy power-pop ably assisted by the bellowing purity of noir-country chanteuse neko case's vocals which seemed incongruously disproportionate. none of the shittiness, predicted in a show of faux-modesty, presented itself. in its place we were treated to a cacophonous example of noise-pop delivered by a professional outfit who knew exactly how good their songs were and who did no disservice to them. there was no pomp or pageantry, the unadorned stage filled with what looked like middle-aged kids rocking out, but who needs to look good when you can sound this tight particularly in the service of music's harshest mistress; the pop song.

a roller-skating jam named saturday

incognito, i arrived, bantered, parted with the requisite sum and duly had arranged prospective activities. what did become of tuesdays? in a rare show of spontaneity, suddenly i was wondering whether they explained to the children of collingwood that cow equals beef (chicken, of course, still equals chicken; and pig, well that's just a magical animal). a presidential moment; what is a good price to pay for pumpkin and poppy-seed papardelle? and did they choose papardelle because of its alliterative possibility? following some logistical faffing, it was decided that my afternoon would be spent in the company of mr daniel craig and in the comfort of the art-deco surrounds of the rivoli theatre. amid action scenes that adequately served their purpose, the psychology of bond, a broken man, was superficially explored. notably few of the cliches associated with the franchise were present and the inclusion of relatively confronting and graphic violent scenes broke significantly with tradition. lumbered with the bond mythology was, i felt, disadvantageous as the film could not be viewed without expectation or judged in isolation. had it been possible to do this, my opinion would have been undoubtedly and overwhelmingly favourable but comparisons are always smelly. my margaret felt the degree to which conventions were broken and the endeavour to recast the protagonist was an asset to the film. one man's meat is another man's tomatoe. actually, it's probably dan quayle's tomato. two dinners ensued, the latter of which in notting hill thankfully did not feature academy-award-winner julia roberts. the quarrel in coral gables was revisisted thanks to the incisive coverage of the daily show thus fulfilling my daily dietary requirement for disjointed socio-political commentary. and when wifey passed out, we duly departed and two dudes, who are completely unqualified to do so, navigated the pitfalls of post-modernity in a conversation that can only be described as pretentious. fitting, really

seems apt now

CELEMTINE: Face it, Joel. You're freaked out because I was out late without you, and in your little wormy brain, you're trying to figure out, did she fuck someone tonight?

JOEL: No, see, Clem, I assume you fucked someone tonight. Isn't that how you get people to like you?

further flagrant disregard for originality presented in a litany of borrowed phrasings and sentiments...

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

-Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope

hope springs eternal...

G.O.A.T.

"I too have known joy and sadness, and, on the whole, I prefer joy"

-Ashleigh Brilliant (English Author and Cartoonist, b.1933)

everything's been done

Ultima Online is a Tolkeinesque videogame, the playing of which takes place in an enormous online world called Brittania populated by wizards and elves and such. Apparently, building a powerful character takes tremendous time and effort, and so some experienced players had taken to selling their well-developed characters online for real-world money. I soon discovered you could also buy gold pieces on eBay - that is, you could buy an amount of the coinage of this virtual world in exhange for legitimate currency, and the gold would then be transferred to your character inside the virtual world. And this was how I discovered that, in the late summer of 2000, Ultima Online gold pieces were trading against the US dollar at about the same rate as the Vietnamese dong.
This could easily be one of those slice-of-life stories that TV newscasts slap on at the end of the bad craziness of the rest of the news so that the anchor person can turn to the camera and smile and chuckle in a what'll-they think of next? sort of way that tells everyone watching that life is really pretty grand and light-hearted after all. It could easily be that kind of story, but I think its a particularly ugly kind of lie to treat it as such. Because what this fact means - what it means that the Vietnamese dong and Ultima Online gold pieces were worth about the same in the summer of 2000 - is that the triumphant liberal West had by then reached a point where in some real way it saw the nation of Vietnam and the virtual world of Britannia as roughly equal. That one is an actual place with real people and the other a fantasy world created for the amusement of affluent people with tremendous amounts of leisure time - this is still understood, yes, but not as clearly as it once was.

-Chris Turner from the chapter Homer's Odyssey in his book PLANET SIMPSON first published by Random House, 2004

i couldn't have put it better myself. get some perspective

me, myself and i

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 73% Stability 80% Orderliness 50% Accommodation 70% Interdependence 90% Intellectual 63% Mystical 36% Artistic 23% Religious 43% Hedonism 16% Materialism 10% Narcissism 50% Adventurousness 63% Work ethic 50% Self absorbed 56% Conflict seeking 63% Need to dominate 10% Romantic 36% Avoidant 23% Anti-authority 10% Wealth 56% Dependency 23% Change averse 30% Cautiousness 43% Individuality 16% Sexuality 30% Peter pan complex 10% Physical security 90% Physical Fitness 30% Histrionic 23% Paranoia 30% Vanity 23% Hypersensitivity 30% Female cliche 23%

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

on this day

On Nov. 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas. Suspected gunman Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested. Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson was sworn in as the 36th president of the United States

a fact i was sadly unaware of, today

i just saw the best part

We're sitting in my back garden on a hot summer night, eating barbecued chicken and listening to Todd Rundgren, when a friend suddenly explodes into a rant about pop music. His argument, as far as i could follow it, went as follows: it's crap because the words are crap, pathetic adolescent poetry rather than lyrics, and so if it's all crap then you might as well listen to music that performs a function and has no pretensions whatsoever...Which is why he only bothers with house music. House music doesn't bother with words very much, and has an express goal, namely making you dance when you're off your face. That, it seems to me, is like saying that because most restaurants are very bad, one should play the percentage game, forget about trying to find the good ones and eat at McDonald's every meal."

-Nick Hornby from his critical essay on Ben Folds Five's "Smoke" found in the Penguin publication 31 Songs

beautiful oblivion staring at the barrel of a gun under a blue sky on mars

in memoriam of dearly departed blogging brethren;

q: what do you get when you put your heart in a blender?
a: a crush

also, how do you spell that word that axl rose sings before "sweet child of mine" in the guns 'n' roses song sweet child of mine of which there exists an excellent cover by dean wareham's (ex galaxie 500) luna?

and another thing, who do i have to talk to to get some bananas around here?
and another thing...shut up!
president clinton, i figured if anyone knew how to get some bananas around here, it'd be you.

riddle me this: personal, obtuse or sleep deprived? impenetrable complexity or nonsense? additionally, could this post confound your mother who, as we both know, is ... je ne sais quoi? and finally, when did you become anonymous? or, perhaps, when did i?

instead of running, stay and keep it coming