chilli oatmeal

bore witness to the glorious, hmynal noise of the new pornographers last night at the venerable and salubrious st kilda venue, the prince of wales hotel. the oxymoronic indie-supergroup minus destroyer/swan lake's dan bejar were supported by the chiming indie-pop of local act the crayon fields, whose appearance motivated one of my fellow gig-goers to state that she was prepared to bet large sums none of the four-piece line-up got laid in high-school. further furnishing my theory that indie-girls are way hotter than their undeserving indie male counterparts. the headliners came on strong opening with sing me spanish techno, the laws have changed, jackie dressed in cobras, and the bleeding heart show on which they achieved transcendental joy. what followed was a sublime display of crunchy power-pop ably assisted by the bellowing purity of noir-country chanteuse neko case's vocals which seemed incongruously disproportionate. none of the shittiness, predicted in a show of faux-modesty, presented itself. in its place we were treated to a cacophonous example of noise-pop delivered by a professional outfit who knew exactly how good their songs were and who did no disservice to them. there was no pomp or pageantry, the unadorned stage filled with what looked like middle-aged kids rocking out, but who needs to look good when you can sound this tight particularly in the service of music's harshest mistress; the pop song.

a roller-skating jam named saturday

incognito, i arrived, bantered, parted with the requisite sum and duly had arranged prospective activities. what did become of tuesdays? in a rare show of spontaneity, suddenly i was wondering whether they explained to the children of collingwood that cow equals beef (chicken, of course, still equals chicken; and pig, well that's just a magical animal). a presidential moment; what is a good price to pay for pumpkin and poppy-seed papardelle? and did they choose papardelle because of its alliterative possibility? following some logistical faffing, it was decided that my afternoon would be spent in the company of mr daniel craig and in the comfort of the art-deco surrounds of the rivoli theatre. amid action scenes that adequately served their purpose, the psychology of bond, a broken man, was superficially explored. notably few of the cliches associated with the franchise were present and the inclusion of relatively confronting and graphic violent scenes broke significantly with tradition. lumbered with the bond mythology was, i felt, disadvantageous as the film could not be viewed without expectation or judged in isolation. had it been possible to do this, my opinion would have been undoubtedly and overwhelmingly favourable but comparisons are always smelly. my margaret felt the degree to which conventions were broken and the endeavour to recast the protagonist was an asset to the film. one man's meat is another man's tomatoe. actually, it's probably dan quayle's tomato. two dinners ensued, the latter of which in notting hill thankfully did not feature academy-award-winner julia roberts. the quarrel in coral gables was revisisted thanks to the incisive coverage of the daily show thus fulfilling my daily dietary requirement for disjointed socio-political commentary. and when wifey passed out, we duly departed and two dudes, who are completely unqualified to do so, navigated the pitfalls of post-modernity in a conversation that can only be described as pretentious. fitting, really

seems apt now

CELEMTINE: Face it, Joel. You're freaked out because I was out late without you, and in your little wormy brain, you're trying to figure out, did she fuck someone tonight?

JOEL: No, see, Clem, I assume you fucked someone tonight. Isn't that how you get people to like you?

further flagrant disregard for originality presented in a litany of borrowed phrasings and sentiments...

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd

-Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope

hope springs eternal...

G.O.A.T.

"I too have known joy and sadness, and, on the whole, I prefer joy"

-Ashleigh Brilliant (English Author and Cartoonist, b.1933)

everything's been done

Ultima Online is a Tolkeinesque videogame, the playing of which takes place in an enormous online world called Brittania populated by wizards and elves and such. Apparently, building a powerful character takes tremendous time and effort, and so some experienced players had taken to selling their well-developed characters online for real-world money. I soon discovered you could also buy gold pieces on eBay - that is, you could buy an amount of the coinage of this virtual world in exhange for legitimate currency, and the gold would then be transferred to your character inside the virtual world. And this was how I discovered that, in the late summer of 2000, Ultima Online gold pieces were trading against the US dollar at about the same rate as the Vietnamese dong.
This could easily be one of those slice-of-life stories that TV newscasts slap on at the end of the bad craziness of the rest of the news so that the anchor person can turn to the camera and smile and chuckle in a what'll-they think of next? sort of way that tells everyone watching that life is really pretty grand and light-hearted after all. It could easily be that kind of story, but I think its a particularly ugly kind of lie to treat it as such. Because what this fact means - what it means that the Vietnamese dong and Ultima Online gold pieces were worth about the same in the summer of 2000 - is that the triumphant liberal West had by then reached a point where in some real way it saw the nation of Vietnam and the virtual world of Britannia as roughly equal. That one is an actual place with real people and the other a fantasy world created for the amusement of affluent people with tremendous amounts of leisure time - this is still understood, yes, but not as clearly as it once was.

-Chris Turner from the chapter Homer's Odyssey in his book PLANET SIMPSON first published by Random House, 2004

i couldn't have put it better myself. get some perspective

me, myself and i

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 73% Stability 80% Orderliness 50% Accommodation 70% Interdependence 90% Intellectual 63% Mystical 36% Artistic 23% Religious 43% Hedonism 16% Materialism 10% Narcissism 50% Adventurousness 63% Work ethic 50% Self absorbed 56% Conflict seeking 63% Need to dominate 10% Romantic 36% Avoidant 23% Anti-authority 10% Wealth 56% Dependency 23% Change averse 30% Cautiousness 43% Individuality 16% Sexuality 30% Peter pan complex 10% Physical security 90% Physical Fitness 30% Histrionic 23% Paranoia 30% Vanity 23% Hypersensitivity 30% Female cliche 23%

Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.

Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
social, outgoing, worry free, optimistic, upbeat, tough, likes large parties, makes friends easily, rarely irritated, open, enjoys leadership, trusting, dominant, thrill seeker, strong, does not like to be alone, assertive, mind over heart, confident, controlling, feels desirable, likes the spotlight, loves food, social chameleon, hard working, concerned about others

on this day

On Nov. 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade in Dallas. Suspected gunman Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested. Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson was sworn in as the 36th president of the United States

a fact i was sadly unaware of, today

i just saw the best part

We're sitting in my back garden on a hot summer night, eating barbecued chicken and listening to Todd Rundgren, when a friend suddenly explodes into a rant about pop music. His argument, as far as i could follow it, went as follows: it's crap because the words are crap, pathetic adolescent poetry rather than lyrics, and so if it's all crap then you might as well listen to music that performs a function and has no pretensions whatsoever...Which is why he only bothers with house music. House music doesn't bother with words very much, and has an express goal, namely making you dance when you're off your face. That, it seems to me, is like saying that because most restaurants are very bad, one should play the percentage game, forget about trying to find the good ones and eat at McDonald's every meal."

-Nick Hornby from his critical essay on Ben Folds Five's "Smoke" found in the Penguin publication 31 Songs

beautiful oblivion staring at the barrel of a gun under a blue sky on mars

in memoriam of dearly departed blogging brethren;

q: what do you get when you put your heart in a blender?
a: a crush

also, how do you spell that word that axl rose sings before "sweet child of mine" in the guns 'n' roses song sweet child of mine of which there exists an excellent cover by dean wareham's (ex galaxie 500) luna?

and another thing, who do i have to talk to to get some bananas around here?
and another thing...shut up!
president clinton, i figured if anyone knew how to get some bananas around here, it'd be you.

riddle me this: personal, obtuse or sleep deprived? impenetrable complexity or nonsense? additionally, could this post confound your mother who, as we both know, is ... je ne sais quoi? and finally, when did you become anonymous? or, perhaps, when did i?

instead of running, stay and keep it coming

"there are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... i dream of things that never were and ask why not"

"There's a war on imagination at the moment, led by the US government, a war against imaginative and complex responses to things. There were imaginative and complex responses to the Iraq situation from everyone from church to academics, but they chose to ignore them and go to war. Mind you, in one way you have to admire Bush. He is actually himself a radical and imaginative president. He's imagined the world as a worse place and made it that way."

-Matthew Herbert aka doctor rockit aka radioboy aka wishmountain

in the Guardian on Saturday May 27 this year

mmm....contemporary

'cuz there's nothing else to do

there are nights when i think that sal paradise was right.
boys and girls in america have such a sad time together.
sucking off each other at the demonstrations.
making sure their makeup's straight.
crushing one another with collossal expectations.
dependent, undisciplined, sleeping late.

she was a really cool kisser and she wasn't all that strict of
a christian.
she was a damn good dancer but she wasn't all that great of a
girlfriend.
he likes the warm feeling but he's tired of all the
dehydration.
most nights were crystal clear but tonite its like it's stuck
between stations
on the radio.

the devil and john berryman took a walk together
they ended up on washington talking to the river
he said "I surrounded myself with doctors and deep thinkers
but big heads with soft bodies make for lousy lovers".
there was that night that we thought that john berryman could
fly.but he didnt so he died.
she said "you're pretty good with words but words won't save
your life"
and they didn't so he died.

he was drunk and exhausted but he was critically acclaimed and
respected.
he loved the golden gophers but he hated all the drawn out
winters.
he likes the warm feeling but he's tired of all the
dehydration.
most nights were kind of fuzzy but that last night he had
total retention.

these twin city kisses.
sound like clicks and hisses.
and we all come down and drown in the mississippi river.

we drink
we dry up.
we crumble into dust.

we get wet we corrode
we get covered in rust.

-lyrics by Craig Finn on the Hold Steady track "Stuck BETWEEN Stations" from their third album boys and girls in America

musing #1

if lee harding did something credible, would that be selling out?

oh boy do i

remember that time you attended belle & sebastian...?

you wore a t-shirt that said "SUITABLY AFFECTED"

the 99th percentile

Pure Nerd
60 % Nerd, 30% Geek, 34% Dork

For The Record:
A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of:
Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on nerdiness

You scored higher than 99% on geekosity

You scored higher than 99% on dork points

evil and inhuman

a conversation i had today:

me: the pope is infallible on matters of faith
somebody else: is this a matter of faith?
me: i think it is

genius

from the mind that gave you ithoughtofitdotinfo, the spiritual home of i thoughofitdotcom, has anyone thought of auditioning for australian idol and performing tamara jaber's (ex scandal'us) ooh aah as released on king kyle records. i imagine the exhange going something like this:

auditoner: ooh aah i lost my bra / i left my knickers in my boyfriend's car
kyle sandilands: well, that was shit
auditioner: yes, yes it was

some of my best friends are...

"it's okay, i'll translate," red symons when interviewing lord mayor john so on the 171st anniversary of the founding of melbourne...

in english.

"the terrorist has got another one," dean jones upon hashim amla, south african batsman, taking a catch to dismiss kumar sangakkara in a test match between south africa and sri lanka in colombo...

whilst playing cricket.

gentlemen, all

yes. and no

do you realize,
that you have the most beautiful face?
do you realize,
we're floating in space?
do you realize,
that happiness makes you cry?
do you realize,
that everyone you know someday will die?
and instead of saying all of your goodbyes
let them know you realize that life goes fast
it's hard to make the good things last
you realize the sun dudn't go down
it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
do you realize,
that you have the most beautiful face?
do you realize?

contrariness

andrew chan and myuran sukumaran, alleged ring-leaders of the bali nine. sentenced to death for the crime of heroin importation.

abu bakar bashir, spiritual leader of jammah islamiah. a free man

and another thing...

what is it with this guy?

i just don't get it. i mean, you're grown women.

i'm sorry. did i break your concentration?

but this man,

did not bomb this place:

pride

do you know what your sin is, Mal?

he'd be president

if mel gibson had said, "arabs are responsible for all the wars in the world"

top 5 artists who are best known for a cover version ever

so, today at work they played the bangles hazy shade of winter which gots me to thinking it was time for another definitive list. please feel free to contribute your own suggestions to the paucity on offer in this (very) short list;

bodyjar (hazy shade of winter - the bangles)
joan baez (blowin' in the wind - bob dylan)
the kingsmen (louie, louie - richard berry)
cowboy junkies (sweet jane - velvet underground)
smokey robinson & the miracles (tears of a clown - stevie wonder)
the byrds (mr tambourine man - bob dylan)
the lemonheads (mrs robinson - simon and garfunkel)
faith no more (easy - lionel ritchie)

i look forward to hearing from my lawyer. that is if she, or anyone else, still reads this drivel

is this now worth it?

banana buzz
banana, low fat milk or soy, TD4 vanilla
yoghurt & ice (honey optional)

because i don't have a vitamiser at home

madonna in the presence of greatness

don't let them tell you this stuff doesn't work

“Al Gore endorsing Howard Dean. it's pretty hard to see how Dean can recover from this”

in celebration of the return of the daily show with jon stewart to australian free-to-airwaves, a truism courtesy of correspondent rob corddry. 10:00pm SBS tonight. watch it and weep for australian political satire

"see that fish? $13,000. makes you almost wanna stop eating sushi, but I guess you have to."

an impeccably delivered line of dialogue (by adam brody aka seth cohen, no less) from jason reitman's feature debut, thank you for smoking, based on the novel by christopher buckley and screened last night as part of the 2006 melbourne international film festival at the stately regent theatre. in this humble cyberspace polluter's opinion, a fine piece of satire and one of the best comedy's of recent years. good cast. well paced. didn't lag. laugh-out-loud funny. intriguing premise. charismatic (and morally dubious) central chracter. great dialogue. see it

now i get it

okay. so, last night i revisited the athenaeum theatre, scene of the triumphant eels orchestra show of 2000, to witness the same "band" (and i use this term advisedly) completely denigrate any fond memory of that venue and that show that may have still lingered after all these years. in a lazy performance, the ever-idiosyncratic E led a three-piece line-up through unaffecting alternative-throwback renditions of his material devoid of emotion, sentiment or passion. while proficient, the musicianship could not be appreciated. the theatricality was distancing and amateurish. the band seemed content to render every song in the eels catalogue in the same vein, amounting to little more than an inconsequential exercise in monotony. it takes a certain kind of arrogance to pummel your audience into submission and charge 60 dollars a pop for the privilege. particularly an audience that has loyally followed an iconoclastic song-writer exorcise his demons throughout years of cathartic, confessional, heartfelt and honest expression and which can rightfully claim a sense of ownership towards "their" band. no joy in performing, communicating or connecting with this audience was conveyed. rather it was an altogether alienating experience which left one dismayed as to the band's motives in putting on this white-boy soul-metal revue. and while the eels have always traded on a certain degree of irony, tonight they cashed in a wealth of respect i once held for them in a heartless, soulless and pointless endeavour

your miss shop needs you

on saturday april 29, comedian stephen colbert, formerly of the daily show with jon stewart, currently host of his own the colbert report, addressed the annual white house correspondents association dinner. standing mere metres from the most powerful man in the world he unwaveringly delivered what is unquestionably in my mind one of the most incendiary pieces of satire ever produced. it was bold, fierce, unapologetically intelligent and for me called to mind the words of edward r. murrow as scripted by george clooney in his oscar-nominated good night and good luck and equally perfectly delivered by david strathairn. they are as follows;

This might just do nobody any good. At the end of this discourse a few people may accuse this reporter of fouling his own comfortable nest and your organization may be accused of having given hospitality to heretical and even dangerous ideas. But the elaborate structure of networks advertising agencies, and sponsors will not be shaken or altered. It is my desire, if not my duty, to try to talk to you journeymen with some candor about what is happening to radio and television. And if what I say is responsible, I alone am responsible for the saying of it. Our history will bewhat we make of it. And if there are any historians about or years from now and there should be preserved the kinescopes of one week of all three networks they will there find recorded in black and white, and in color evidence of decadence, escapism and insulation from the realities of the world in which we live. We are currently wealthy, fat, comfortable, and complacent. We have a built-in allergy to unpleasant or disturbing information. Our mass media reflect this. But unless we get up off our fat surpluses and recognize that television in the main is being used to distract, delude,amuse, and insulate us then televisionand those who finance it, those who look at itand those who work at it may see a totally different picture too late.

for those interested, the complete transcript of colbert's words can easily be found throughout the interweb. but to see the true poetry of his delivery, and the skill in his rhetoric and oratory, please follow the links below immediately (before they are taken down). however you can, access this footage. i can think of nothing more imperative or essential for our times and the relative lack of coverage this speech received in my country (australia) saddens me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CiSEIQ7SfgA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YucAX_byj5U

finally, beneath this post you will find some personally selected highlights which particularly appealed to me

"i'd like to welcome you to washington dc, the chocolate city with a marshmallow centre"

-to mayor nagin of new orleans

"this administration is not sinking, this administration is soaring. if anything, they are rearranging the deckchairs on the hindenburg"

pretty self-explanatory, methinks

"you know that one about the intrepid wahington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. you know, fiction"

to the members of the white house press corps on the "novel you got kicking around in your head(s)"

"i'm with the president, let history decide what did or didn't happen"

to laura bush on her reading initiative and the value of history

"it is the heartwarming story of a man who is repeatedly punched in the face"

on the first rocky movie and the bush presidency

"and reality has a well known liberal bias"

on the myth of the libaral media; see also al franken's lies and the lying liars who tell them

"i believe the government that governs least is the government that governs best and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in iraq"

on bringing demcoracy to the middle-east, wolfowitz-style

"your great country makes our happy meals possible"

on china and directed at the chinese ambassador

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."

from samuel beckett's worstward ho (1984). referenced by larissa dubecki in a review of an episode of alan ball's (american beauty) six feet under entitled "time flies" in the show's fifth and final season. found in the age green guide supplement on thursday april 13, 2006.

please ignore me and pass by as you were

it is now just over 25 minutes since i witnessed THE MOUNTAIN GOATS perform an impassioned encore rendition of "this year" from their sunset tree release. i am currently sitting in the student computing centre on the 4th floor of union house at the university of melbourne struggling to compose my thoughts. four floors below me in north court for the lunch hour on this tuesday the 11th of april, peter hughes and john darnielle were kind enough to entertain we feeble students in a free concert on the eve of their corner hotel show tomorrow night. the ever-banterful darnielle immediately endeared himself to the "college" audience beckoning us closer and regaling us with anecdotes and insights into his song-stories all the while wringing volume and pathos from his instruments (both voice and guitar). his self-confessed manic energy was contagious, gleefully responsing to requests from the audience (only one honoured, the predictable palmcorder yajna) and consuming beer in the afternoon sun. we heard of his fascination with the villainous ox baker, pro-wrestler, who would teach us "a certain lesson" and scowl thoughtlessly, of the driveway of a typical south claremont home adorned with the cacti and gardenias which didn't quite fit the planting scheme and the four door honda civic with a left hand steering column ("cos that was where i grew up") which featured in a midset song. he told us of his aversion to outdoor gigs, which he avoids like the black plague - the last of which he believed to be in 1997, and his dread at approaching today's event. so apparently overwhelmed was he, he related a conversation he had with his wife this morning and her instructions to "quit whining, you fuck, and go to work" to which he reaponded "be nice to your husband, etcetera.." he confessed the quiet, comtemplative ones were stuck in his brain ("always a risk"), but performed only one reading the mood perfectly. he vigorously strummed, obviously in his element, and proved himself a consumate performer in addition to an incredible songwriter. there were songs about having the sex you shouldn't have whilst residing in dormitories and the one about what to do when you're stepfather starts beating your mother. and surprisingly few from last year's record that no doubt raised the band's profile in this country (absent both were broom people and up the wolves). in their sted the duo drew from an imcomparable catalogue but again refrained from fan-favourite going to georgia. but these hardly amount to gripes on my part; in fact having chatted to peter hughes for some 15 minutes before he went on stage and securing both his and john's autographs subsequent to their performance, as well as engaging john on his interest in the classical languages (relating my current studies of the elegy of tibullus and the historian tacitus) and peter on his opinion of the pitchfork website and my inclusion of both his and bobby wratten's band's on a mixtape for my partner, i have never felt so engaged with an artist subsequent to appreciating their work. while no doubt reading over this later will provoke embarrassment on my part at my obvious sycophancy, right now it occurs to me that i have failed to capture as eloquently, elegantly and precisely what just one of john's songs can convey. but hopefully, amidst this torrent of words, thoughts, ideas and emotions currently coursing through me, and my desperation to record every detail and nuance, the sheer thrill and excitement that was elicited from me is evident to all. and i hope in some small way i have fittingly celebrated the transcedent and tireless nature of music . thankyou, john and peter - it was a most remarkable thing you did today

Please to remember the Fifth of November, Gunpowder Treason and Plot. We know no reason why gunpowder treason Should ever be forgot.

A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy.

Guy Fawkes (1570-1606), conspirator in the Gunpowder Plot

V for Vendetta, based on a graphic novel by Alan Moore (The Watchmen, From Hell, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen) adapted for the screen by the Wachowski brothers (pre-Matrix), released march 30.

i, no doubt, didn't tell you first.

fab four vs the flab four

better title for last post...

OR the f(l)ab four

which beatle would be what teletubby? discuss

such was my seeming paucity of ideas, thoughts and experiences i feared i would have to resort to trawling here for content. i even considered googling possible memes which i could undertake despite not having been tagged. thankfully inspiration struck in the form of one of my closest friends whom i duly chose to berate with much gusto and invective. you can view said outburst here but please do return to these kinder, gentler shores despite the fact audible chuckles may emanate from your mouth when you relocate. an experience which may be new to regular readers of this intellectual mecca.

we poke because we love, adrian. because we love.

finally, some words of love from carole king and gerry goffin;

He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me but it didn't hurt me
He couldn't stand to hear me say,
That I'd been with someone new
And when I told him I had been untrue
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me and I knew he loved me
If he didn't care for me
I could never have made him mad
But he hit me and I was glad

Yes he hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me and I knew I loved him
And then he took me in his arms
With all the tenderness there is
And when he kissed me
He made me his.

(the Phil Spector produced He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss) found on Back To MONO
(1958-1969) BOXset by The Crystals)

as time goes by*

resisting the temptation to partake in an online quiz (motivated by genuine interest in its comic potential this time and not by spite), i give you these words penned by Julius J. Epstein, Philip G. Epstein, Howard Koch and Casey Robinson (uncredited) featuring in the incomparable Casablanca (based on the play Everybody comes to Rick's by Murrray Burnett and Joan Alison). you may not be interested to learn that despite the fact i revisited this film at the astor on sunday evening, i was unable to assert that it was directed by michael curtiz as required of me at quizmeisters trivia last night at the royston in richmond. for those of you following our ongoing trivia fortunes, our team was called we're really struggling and we wiped the floor, thumping our opposition and romping home with a comfortable winning margin of 4 points. but back to some of the best dialogue committed to screen;

Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine
Here's (to) looking at you, kid
I'm not fighting for anything anymore, except myself. I'm the only cause I'm interested in
If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon — and for the rest of your life
We'll always have Paris
Major Strausser has been shot. Round up the usual suspects
Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship

*words and music Herman Hupfeld (1931)

my silent* protest (almost) against the widespread abuse of Reply All

an email i didn't send to my lawyer today because i'm, like, considerate. also may accidentally reveal my secret identity. read on...

From : Malcolm T girlversusboy@hotmail.com
Sent : Friday, 13 January 2006 7:07:00 PM
To : (address with-held to rotect the innocent)
Subject : RE: FW: A personalised response just for you

i fucking hate you all. and i know this is only going to you and will probably not make it through your filters. and i don't give a fuck. and then when i call up they can ask who it is and i'll tell them who the fuck it is and to put me throught to my fucking lawyer. it's MALCOLM FUCKING THOMAS OKAY!! fuck why isn't there anything bigger than capitals...i'll be in my fucking room. now die

Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable?
Or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?

*oh, and its a silent protest because noone involved will or does read this blog unless i directly refer them here irl. plus if you look at the site meter, at least half of those visits are me. ego is not a dirty word

**APPARENTLY THERE IS

"i told you i was sick" - Spike Milligan's epitaph (it's apt, damnit...APT!**)

*** see above **

why don't you just ... die?

Free from addiction!
You are 10% Addicted!

You have either just started playing, or don't really seem to like the game very much yet. Be thankful that you still have a life outside of the game.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on addiction level

what's the happs

have a bender at blender at bender this afternoon. witness the debut club performance by bedroom twiddler, all-round nice-guy and electrician to the stars dj bryzamac (and yes, i have already told him he needs to work on his stage name - my suggestion, lord bryon master of the decks). as an added bonus, i may be in attendance so you can see for yourselves (wow, plural, that's optimistic) how closely i do resemble this lot. or perhaps you might think i look more like this. or maybe you could just look for this guy (a loving and excellent hand-drawn reproduction of my likeness recently added to this site). but failing that i am posting this flyer as a show of support. i actually commenced this post with the intention of doing something altruistic but amazingly it turned out that i still managed to make it about me. as certain authors of viral web surveys may command, attend or DIE*!!

*of course if you do actually die this afternoon, this would be in extremely poor taste. we here at girl vs boy take no responsibility for any adverse life outcomes suffered forthwith (disclaimer valid till 12.01am, monday january 9, 2006)

more "people" i look like

Clockwise from top left: dilbert (created byScott Adams), disco stu (created by Matt Groening), a golliwog, herschel schmoikel (a.k.a. Krusty the Clown, also created by Matt Groening)

I seriously doubt the orginality of some of these so-called artists

go figure...

...welcome to the first day of the rest of your life and to get started we'll make a list of all the silly things you did yesterday...

(Michael Leunig, Age cartoonist, 2006 wall calendar "January")